The Time Between Us

Walking through the doors of my old high school stage, the changes since I’d last been there stood out like a sore thumb. I’d gotten there a few hours early to see my old classmates’ spring musical, but I couldn’t pass up the stage to live it all over again. There were a bunch of pictures on the wall, one of me in my freshman year musical. They installed an aerial rig on the ceiling, something my director always wanted. They painted the floors and walls and even installed a few mirrors.

Then the scene changed before my eyes, and I was transported back to the set of my senior musical. The pictures and aerial rig disappeared, and the previous set changed to one of a provincial town. I felt like I was back in high school again.

And there she was, my younger self, sitting on the floor in her golden ballgown. She sat there on the floor, surprised to see me. Her eyes squinted as she looked up and down at me. I could tell she was giving me a once-over, taking in that my hair no longer had highlights, that I had one set of earrings, and that I was wearing jeans instead of her typical leggings. Funny how three years can change a person’s appearance.

Words were on the tip of her tongue, and I knew what they would be before they left her mouth.

“So… are we still together?”

And it was a punch to the gut. Even though I was already on the other side, doing so much better, I knew how much she cared.

I sighed and told her no. She grabbed her knees to her chin, and tears began to form. She had lots of questions, some of which I could not answer. And when I couldn’t, in a fit of frustration, she exclaimed that she wished everything could stay the same.

I took a pause, then reminded her of what she said in her graduation speech.

“Change is inevitable. It’s a normal part of life, whether we like it or not.”

She stood up in a fit of anger and stomped her foot.

“If that’s what change is, then I don’t want it. If it means that I lose this-” She turned around and crossed her arms. “I need to go warm up.”

I told her she could go if she wanted to, but I wanted to remind her of everything she would be missing. She paused with her back still turned.

I told her I still didn’t like it, but if we didn’t change, it meant we wouldn’t grow into who we want to be. Not all of the change was fun. At times, it felt like mountains I had to overcome. But I told her that we get to accomplish so much.

I told her how writing became our passion, and that we were published.I told her that we got to have an actual job in writing, and what an amazing experience it was. I told her about all the wonderful people we got to meet and how some became our best friends. I told her about all the amazing trips we got to go on, from California to Florida to Europe, and how fun college was. And now we get to look for our own apartment.

I told her how, through all those changes, we got to be the person we are today- the person who is still learning and growing and changing every day.

She turned around with tears in her eyes. And to my surprise, she apologized.

“For what?” I asked.

“I want all of that, I really do. But I still want everything to stay the same.” My heart shattered.

I stepped closer and wrapped my arms around her.

“You don’t have to be sorry. It’s ok to be scared of change.”

“Whether we like it or not,” she replied with a small laugh.

After a moment, she asked if, at the end of my college journey, I had it all figured out. If all that change showed me what I was supposed to do now.

I sighed and told her no. No one has it ‘figured out’. It takes time, and there are still many, many challenges I need to overcome.

She asked me what would happen then, how everything was supposed to work out.

I told her, “Let’s meet up in another three years, and we’ll have a third person to ask then.”